in2 : used to designate inclusion
ep : extended play
tech : tech
ep : extended play
tech : tech
in·ep·tech : technology that plays
on your side - extended
on your side - extended
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for using a homophobic slur to describe developers who use string manipulation to truncate the decimal portion of floating point values, rather than the floor() function.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Like most software companies, we put a lot of time and effort in to making sure we only hire the best and brightest at Ineptech. Here are some of the questions I've found to be helpful:
· Write a regex that will find all un-closed tags in an HTML file. (Ideal candidate will deliver an angry lecture on the limitations of regular expressions)
· What's your biggest weakness as a developer? (Ideal candidate will successfully manage to sound like they answered the question but without describing an actual weakness)
· I'm always hearing about murderers being caught because they had "how to get rid of a body" in their search history. If you needed information that could be used against you in court, how would you go about covering your tracks? (Ideal candidate will mention TOR and coffee shop wifi)
· If you had to implement a doubly-linked list in Java, which website would you copy-paste the code from? (Ideal candidate will say anything other than Yahoo Answers) %%% My reaction to the new ECMAscript features %%% Dick (CEO) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for implying that he was the original author of the theme song to 'Firefly'. The author was in fact Joss Whedon.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Hi folks! It's Chad, director of the Marketing team here at Ineptech. When Dick (that's Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson) asked me to reveal some of our marketing "hacks" for the blog, I thought he was crazy. "You're crazy, Dick!" is what I said to him. I actually said that! He knew I was kidding.
I thought he was crazy because our time-tested marketing techniques are one of the things, if not the only thing, that has propelled Ineptech to the world-bestriding position of corporate dominance it presently enjoys. But hey, he's the boss! So here, for the first time ever, I will reveal some of the clever ways we have made social media work for us.
To kick this series off, let's talk about the Big Daddy of them all, Facebook. Of course, anyone can post something on Facebook - the question is, how do you get people to share it? Read on!
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for using a hurtful slur against the mentally challenged to describe users of Kanban boards. Kanban is a powerful tool for software development, and in no way resembles the "chore board" in Mr. Hallerson's nephew's kindergarten class.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
My first post got so much great feedback that I've decided to make it a series! More great questions for hiring rockstar developers:
· How do you feel about QA engineers checking in bug fixes? (Ideal candidate will manage not to snort, roll their eyes, or laugh out loud)
· Who is your favorite GI Joe character? (Ideal candidate will mention Snake Eyes or Scarlett. Sergeant Slaughter = no hire)
· How would you implement a bubble sort? (Ideal candidate will say, "I wouldn't!" and offer a double-high-five.)
· Why are manhole covers round? (Ideal candidate will object to implicit sexism in the term "manhole") %%% Testing tips from Dïjk %%% Dïjk (Dir. QA) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Hello and welcome to Ineptech blog! As QA director here, I wear many of hats. Of course I do all of testing, but like many QA professionals I also help out with other areas, like usability, design, tech writing, phone support, office administration, and janitorial. It is hard work sometimes, but you don't become QA for glory and easy hours!
In my career as quality professional I have learned many things about craft of testing, and I thought this blog would be great place to share them with you.
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for characterizing Jerry "Tycho Brahe" Holkins as a sexual deviant. Mr. Holkins is a talented writer and we understand that his frequent references to "barnyard stuff" are probably satirical.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Another installment in my list of awesome questions for prospective development hires:
· How much experience do you have with Linux? (Ideal candidate will say that they have a linux server at home to tinker with, but will sheepishly admit that they haven't used it much since the kids were born)
· Do you think women and minorities are as good at programming as white men? Why or why not? (Ideal candidate will file a complaint against you with the EEOC or other government agency)
· How can you detect a cycle in a linked list? (Ideal candidate will briefly describe Floyd's algorithm, but will admit that they saw it on a list of programmer interview questions instead of making a big show of pretending to figure it out on the fly)
· What do you like to do outside of work? (Ideal candidate will list hobbies that can be performed alone in a basement) %%% Marketing hacks 2: Reddit %%% Chad (Dir. Marketing) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Let me tell you about the most important website you've never heard of. Reddit is a small "underground" site, almost unknown to the world at large, yet it is the source of many of the humorous pictures and interesting articles that you see on Facebook, Buzzfeed and other real websites.
Getting your post to the front page of Reddit is not easy! This is because the site's users, or "Redders", vote on which links rise to the top. Luckily, there are some tricks you can use to make sure your exciting branded content is featured alongside other great articles, like "TIFU by pooping on a pigeon".
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for likening the flexibility of Lenovo "Yoga 2" laptops to that of his third wife Margaret.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Hello again my testing friends! I have received so many positive feedbacks from all of you that I have come back to share more of my tips for great testing. Please enjoy and let me know your own quality secrets when you have time!
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for inaccurately suggesting that the replacement of blackboards by whiteboards is evidence of structural racism in American universities.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
The economy is picking up, are you hiring? If so, here are some more questions to help find your next rock star programmer!
· Do you have any experience with Microsoft Sharepoint? (Ideal candidate will recoil in combination of horror and disgust)
· Have you ever been on a boat? (Ideal candidate will indicate that they have. Or that they haven't. Either is fine, really)
· Why did you leave your last position? (Ideal candidate will explain that former supervisor was, like, a total tool. Also acceptable: "Fired for being too awesome")
· How would you perform head recursion on a member object? (Ideal candidate will figure out that this is an oral sex joke) %%% Happy Holidays! %%% Dick (CEO) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for suggesting that the company is considering burning the corpses of temporary employees to generate warmth. This was meant as a humorous reference to the recent cold weather, and in no way diminishes our gratitude for the contribution of our H1B workforce.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Hello again! I'm going to depart from my usual format of helpful interview questions today to talk about some warning signs that a candidate might exhibit. These are questions I've heard during interviews that made me feel like the person was not someone I wanted to hire. I call these "red flags", on account of red being a color traditionally associated with warning and flags being a type of signage designed to attract attention. Hope that makes sense.
· "If I accept a position here, will I be paid for the time I spend in the bathroom?"
· "What is your policy on fistfights?"
· "How many semi-colons can I use per day?"
· "Is it okay that I feel kind of tingly and magical right now?"
· "What happened to the previous occupant of this position? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM???"
· "On my resume, under Languages, what does the pound sign after the C mean? I've always wondered."
· "If I come to work here, how much of my typical day would I spend playing Guitar Hero?" %%% Marketing hacks 3: BuzzFeed %%% Chad (Dir. Marketing) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Have you been living under a rock for the last decade? If not, you probably know about the viral click-a-thon juggernaut that is BuzzFeed. And if you have been under a rock, you probably still know about it! That's how viral it is.
Of course, you could always pay to have your product or service featured on the feed o' Buzz, but why pony up good money to sit behind an ad blocker when you could get on the main roll for free? Just follow these handy tips to make your content "sing" with "zazz" to the sub-minimum-wage teenaged volunteers who pass for an editorial board.
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for describing the Quality Assurance group as a "necessary evil." Mr. Hallerson did not mean to imply that QA is necessary.
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Another entry in my hugely popular series on sample questions for interviewing devs!
· In simple everyday language, explain subclasses. (Ideal candidate will manage to avoid any variation of "car is a subclass of vehicle")
· Would you ever report your direct supervisor to the SEC or other law enforcement agencies for criminal activity? (Ideal candidate will say "Yes, of course," but will then elaborate in such a way as to subtly convey that they would be open to keeping quiet in exchange for a piece of the action)
· How hot was Ada Lovelace, on a scale of 1 to 10? (Ideal candidate will respond in the 7-9 range)
· How would you implement a linked queue using multiple-inheritance recursion on the blockchain? (Ideal candidate will administer first aid on the assumption that you are suffering a jargon-induced seizure) %%% Testing tips from Dïjk, part 3 %%% Dïjk (Dir. QA) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Welcome back to test time here at blog! Thank you for many kind emails from my QA brethren around world. I feel your pain and appreciate support and tears. Even when hours are long and pay is salary, we persevere for good of customer!
Please enjoy more of my tips collected from many years experience as test professional.
Like many of you, I consider Hacker News to be an invaluable resource for keeping up on the software industry. However, I've noticed that a number of the articles are basically self-promotion; in other words, "Five lessons I learned while building my startup" is really just another way of saying, "Hey, can I tell you about my startup?"
If you'd like to get in on some of that sweet, sweet free promotion, however, you will have to be clever. The usual "One crazy trick that drives VCs wild" clickbait titles don't work as well on a tech-savvy audience as they do on the general public. Luckily, I believe I have cracked the code:
Folks just can't get enough of my fantastic hiring advice! Here are some more of the questions I ask in interviews:
· Are you easily offended by off-color humor? (Ideal candidate will respond by telling mildly racist joke)
· What's your favorite thing about Eclipse? (Ideal candidate will stare into space for a moment, eyes unfocused, and eventually say, "The default color scheme, I guess?")
· How many new cursor styles were introduced in CSS 3? (Answer: 19)
· How good are you at programming? (Ideal candidate will indicate that they are super good) %%% E3 is gonna be a blast! %%% Dick (CEO) %%% 4:00 PM PST, Dec 31 1969 %%%
Ineptech CEO Dick Hallerson wishes to apologize for suggesting that the bikini models staffing our booth at an upcoming convention were "proof that there are great opportunities for women in the software field".
We regret the error and apologize unreservedly to anyone who was offended.
Another in my fantastic series of helpful interview questions for your developer hiring adventures!
· Tell me about your proudest moment as a human being. (Ideal candidate will describe the successful implementation of a minor feature in a business software application)
· Does this shirt make me look fat? (Ideal candidate will say no, actually it's quite flattering. Lame FAT32 joke = no hire)
· In Java, what's the difference between String, StringBuffer, and StringBuilder? (Ideal candidate will take this opportunity to denigrate Java. Bonus points for any comment of the form, "What, no StringFactory?")
· Hit me with your best "Yo mama" joke. (Ideal candidate will humorously insult your mother)
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